Log in

I don't know just where I'm going [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

"i don't like to laugh in silence because i HELL OF wheeze ." "........ME TOO!" [Jan. 12th, 2006|07:31 pm]
[Current Music |hybrid moments-misfits]

Ugh. My study skills teacher is the most unreasonably disrespectful adult I have met in awhile. I have never sat in one seat and been so angry for such a long period of time. Talk about personal attack. Jesus. Today wasn't as good as the past several.

Too bad everytime I call my best friend, it's like, "oh hi."? Did I miss something? I'm not going to fall apart about it or anything, but damn. I miss her and I just want to talk to my bessst onnne, not a stranger. I just don't get it.

But I miss my lover, even though we still talk everyday.(haha, and jose and kevin talk, too.)

Well, here's to hoping tomorrow is better.

Love, Rebecca.
Link1 comment|Leave a comment

"now, would that prove that all angry women need to have sex?" [Jan. 9th, 2006|10:31 pm]
[Current Mood |ditzyhappy tired]
[Current Music |sublime- caress me down]

I got back from my psych 101 class awhile ago. I am... adklfdj EXULTANT. This would be the correct word.

I am so very happy about the current school situation. Ohh man... life is just fucking ace right now.

Oh I love love love how Sarah called me to make sure I wasn't dying in my hour and a half of woe. Haha. This consequently confirms the fact that she is amazing and everyone who is anyone should know that.

Oh yes. It is the new year and it is starting off more than okay.

Love, yours trrruuuly, Rebecca.
Link1 comment|Leave a comment

"wolf gang capuck?" [Dec. 23rd, 2005|12:35 pm]
I got home from San Francisco last night (this morning?) at twelve thirty. I realized that I've never really visited that city in really good company. Anyways, of course, it was fantastic like usual but I was completely selfishly bummed out a little bit because it could of been better with better people. (horrible).

It's really almost Christmas. That's unexpectedly depressing. Christmas Eve and Christmas will be spent just my dad and me at the new house. And on the morning of the twenty sixth, he'll drive me all the way to Salinas to be with mom and grandparents for a couple of days. I've never had Christmas without my mom and my grandparents. I know it shouldn't matter, but it's hard.

I do feel slightly at ease, though. All my shopping is done, and my pockets are COMPLETELY empty and it's okay. I feel good about the fact that I was super generous this year. Most of the money I got for my birthday was saved and used to buy peoples' Christmas presents. I really didn't have any other choice, though, since I have no source of income.

I've been spending an incredible amount of time with my mom, and I love it. She's one of the few people that I have a relationship with who share my sense of humor. I can't believe we are actually getting along and I can't believe how much fun she actually is when she can just relax and stop being the straight-laced vice-principal.

So today, I have to be Santa and get presents to people. I have to make cheesecake and do crazy laundry and pack.

I think it's about time for a new journal.
Link3 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Dec. 17th, 2005|01:02 pm]
A lot of people have it pretty good. And they NEVER stop complaining. And that's irritating.
LinkLeave a comment

Walking down the street shooting people that I meet with my rubber tommy water gun [Dec. 15th, 2005|07:50 pm]
[Current Mood |aggravatedslightly aggravated]
[Current Music |yeah.]

Well. Today I deleted my myspace and registered for my MJC classes. How productive I feel. Then I listened to Queen and got ready to go Christmas shopping with my dad. I just love how he called me ten minutes before he was supposed to pick me up to tell me he wasn't going to because he had a headache. Thanks POPS.

I also love that my mom is BLASTING christmas music in the living room and wrapping about a million presents, and has been for the past two hours. And they're all for people she mostly doesn't even really know at work. What holiday spirit. (and Tanqueray.)
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [Nov. 22nd, 2005|08:54 pm]
Trying to convince myself that my mother cares about anything OTHER THAN work and howard the little bitchpig man would be like....

I don't even KNOW.

In other news, my application will not be getting turned in until after Thanksgiving.
LinkLeave a comment

you write such pretty words. but life's no storybook. [Nov. 21st, 2005|03:38 pm]
[Current Music |bright eyes.]

I think I give up.
LinkLeave a comment

yeah it makes me wonder [Sep. 25th, 2005|01:16 pm]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |plastic bag theme (american beauty) - thomas newman]

Life is different lately, in the way where I don't know whether to love it or hate it. Some things are so good. Like me and my dad. There's probably nothing I look forward to more right now than spending time with him. The house is almost done, we get the key on November 15th. And I really can't wait. Then there's my mom. We haven't spoken a word to each other this weekend. Friday night she gets wasted like usual and we fight and blah blah blah exactly like the million times before except this time she picks up and leaves with no word and doesn't come home until after eleven. There's no sense in talking about it and adding all the fucking details because why does it matter anymore? It doesn't besides that she makes me so fucking sick but I have to look around me and realize that I have it GOOD and even though I never thought that a day would come where I couldn't depend on my own mom and it KILLS me, I have so much. Everyone always tells you it's good to have a goal and that's the only way you ever get anywhere. I figured out that my goal is to find the beauty, and be happy with every second that I have and make it my own just how I want it. Everything inside of my brain is my own world and that power is MY power. Being happy is HARD, it's a hard thing to do. But there's so much beauty, there really is, every fucking place I turn around. This whole life is just a test, you know. You have to fight the system, but you have to fight it in the right ways. I'm not going to jeopardize my own happiness just to fuck it over, I'm going to go places with my life. I don't know anything else. That's all that I know. I'm 15, I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out. I'm not going to have anything figured out anytime soon and I might not figure this shit out in this lifetime, either. But I want to be happy, and I want the people around me to be happy. Nothing else is really that important.
Link4 comments|Leave a comment

she spreads her lovin all over and when she gets home there's none left for me [Sep. 1st, 2005|07:23 am]
[Current Mood |ihavetogotoschooooooool]
[Current Music |SUMMERTIME sublime]

all people in the dance will agree that we're well qualified to represent the LBC eviiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllli'vecometotellyouthat she's evillll MOST DEFINITELY.

most definitely.
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [Aug. 30th, 2005|04:07 pm]
she walks out with empty arms, machine gun in her hand


Link3 comments|Leave a comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]